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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Thoughts on Marriage (at the 8 month mark)

Life is a crazy mess of uninteresting research papers (writing them and grading them), a fractured ankle, and a dog with a lick granuloma and plastic cone on her head. Since I am unable to drive, bike, or even go for a walk, I have been forced to sit on the couch, surrounded by my research and stacks of essays to grade. Occasionally, I break the monotony by painting my nails, reading magazines, and spending too much time online.

Last night, as I allowed my brain to turn all mushy, rewarding it for an incredibly stressful week with tea and movie trailers, I came across the preview for Hall Pass, which is about a bunch of husbands who get a week off from marriage to do whatever they want. I'm sure it's a funny movie, and I'm also sure that the two idiot husbands end up seeing that being married isn't so bad at the end of it. However, the whole premise sort of irks me. I'm so tired of marriage being depicted as a huge tiresome burden.

I remember interacting with various acquaintances and distant relatives at our wedding reception, and it seemed that all the men had some smart ass "piece of advice" to share with Mikael. Most of these completely useless pointers centered around just keeping the peace and saying "Yes, dear." Now, I was pretty happy that day, so I smiled politely and didn't point out how stupid their "advice" really was, especially when sharing it with a couple who just signed their marriage license ten minutes before. If I would've been less Pollyanna-ish and more myself that day, I probably would've pointed out that I want Mikael to share his opinions with me, to fight with me so we can get better and better at communicating. As much as I feel I'm always right, I know that I won't be all the time. And, I haven't been.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say in this post other than I'm just tired of every depiction of marriage after the wedding day being something to be suffered through. I know marriage is hard (or it will be one of these days :). I guess what I'm getting at is marriage is hard enough without people setting it up with such low expectations.

As for us, I'm sure Mikael won't ever be asking for a hall pass:

"I love you. I will always pray to love you more, better and honestly. I love your beauty, be it rolling out bed, dressed up to teach, or cleaning the house with frizzy hair. You cannot make me love you less. You are mine, and I am smiling. Have a wonderful day." ~ via text message today


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